Hello! I have no idea why i keep saying hi/hello everytime i start a post. Its completely redundant yet absolutely necessary at the same time. Hmm.

Anyway, i dont really have anything to blog about in particular. I just feel like blogging. ._.
I guess i've been stalking and bloghopping too much. So much so that it has kinda become a hobby. K, i sound so paedophilic, BUT ITS OKAY.

18 years of my life, and i think i've pretty wasted it. I mean seriously, i haven't really done anything that an 18year old supposed to do. Like, I'VE NEVER STEPPED INTO A CLUB. K fine, just ONCE. But thats not really counted cause lewis was there. To me its not really considered clubbing if you go with your boyfriend. It kinda defeats the whole purpose. Not that i'm gonna go do something bad behind lewis's back, but its not fun if you're gonna go clubbing with your boyfriend.

So, back to my sad life. I can pretty much sum up everything i've done for the past 18years in like....5 words/phrases? (minus the things like eat and sleep)

Basically what i've done in 18 years is , study, look for awesome food everywhere, dream................................................................................................................................................

ITS NOT EVEN 5 PHRASES OMGWTFXBBQ. ITS LIKE FUCKING THREE? And that, is how ridiculously, enormously, absolutely sad miserable and depressing my life is.

If i were to go on a talk show and the host asks me, 'So...what do you think you have done that makes your life awesome? '

Instead of saying something like, OH I PARTY 5 TIMES A WEEK, GET FUCKED EVERY NOW AND THEN, TAKE 500 INSTAX WITH MY FRIENDS, GO ON HOLIDAYS WITH MY FAMILY, FALL IN LOVE, DO CRAZY STUPID SHIT EVERYWHERE LIKE WALK AROUND WITH A ST PAT'S DAY HAT ON CHINESE NEW YEAR....BLAH BLAH *RAMBLES ON AND ON*

I would prolly go like, 'uhhh...*5 excruciating seconds of silence* uhhh... i think uhhh....my life is awesome cause i study about food, my job allows me to draw, uhhhh.....China glaze nail polish is actually kinda cheap uhhhh...sleeping in on weekends....uhhh....' <-- K LETS JUST STOP THERE. Its not even worth continuing.

Im turning NINETEEN soon and i suddenly feel that i've wasted my whole life doing absolutely BORING-ASS stuff.

I kinda like to blame this on the fact that ever since i started dating, which is in sec 1, the longest period of time i've been single is like ONE BLOODY WEEK? Like seriously?

Not that im saying that lewis is a horrible bf or that im really miserable in the relationship, but lately, i've been thinking how things could have been if i stayed single for a longer time. Maybe, just maybe, i would have more time for myself instead of constantly thinking of my boyfriend or something.

Maybe this is why i dont like people to send me home. At least on the way home, i get some time alone, time all to myself. And this i probably why i LOVE long bus rides home.

I dont think this is just another emo moment.

There is like this sudden revelation that things could have been better if i didn't crave for attention.

P/S To squishy, dont worry. Its not your fault. Im just thinking. (By the time you read this, i would have forgotten all about this. HAHA)